He Has Sent Me

In just over a week I will begin my second year of teaching. I can hardly believe its been a year since I found out I was about to start my first year as a teacher. At that point (and still now) I had no expectation of becoming a teacher or even that I would be living in Augusta, GA. But God's will is often that; far greater and different than my plans and expectations.

If you know me at all, then you are probably well aware of the love and passion for the country of Haiti that God has given me. You may also know that a little over a year ago, my assumption was that I would actually be living and serving in Haiti; Augusta was not on my radar.

Over the past year I have wrestled back and forth wondering why this is the case. God has made very clear that part of my purpose in this life is to love and serve Him, by ministering to the people of Haiti (as well as allow them to love me so well). At the age of 13, the Lord told me explicitly that I was going to be a missionary. It wasn't until three years later that I finally accepted that command and another year later that I went on my first "mission" trip to Haiti. I knew immediately that Haiti, more specifically the island of La Gonâve, was the place that God wanted me to serve. What I didn't understand yet was actually what God meant when He said I was going to be a missionary.

The past few years, and especially recently, God has taught me what it means to be a missionary. Simply put, Christian = Missionary. The command to preach the gospel to all nations is a command for all followers of Jesus, not just some. There are not a select or special few that are "called" to be missionaries, rather an explicit direction for ALL believers. But don't take my word for it:

Matthew 28:18-19 " Jesus came and said to them, All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all I have commanded you. And I will be with you always, to the end."

Acts 1:8 " you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in Judea and Samaria and to the end of the earth."

Psalm 67:1-2 "May God be gracious to us and bless us and make His face to shine upon us, that Your way may be known on the earth, Your saving power among all the nations."

Because of these commands that God has set forth for His people, I have learned a new definition for what it means to be a missionary and now am obligated to be obedient to God's definition. That means that a missionary can be a multitude of things. Just within my own circle of friends I see them as missionaries in car dealerships, medical schools, writing about fashion in New York City, playing music, pastoring at churches, and living simple in foreign nations. For me, right now, being a missionary is teaching high school history at a small, private school and loving the friends and family God has placed around me; it wasn't on my agenda for now but its where God wants me to be. And is His placement not better than any other thing we could possibly plan? Unexpected and trying at times? Yes. But better? No doubt.

So that is why I am here and not somewhere else. For those who know me as "the girl who loves Haiti" and "the one who wants to move to Haiti" those things are true of me. But what I desire to be even more true is that I want to be where God wants me, regardless of my desires, goals and plans.
It has been a transition and often my heart aches for the life I thought I'd be living right now, for the friends and family I have in Haiti. Not at all have I left behind or stopped caring about them or desiring to go back. But my ministry to Haiti for now is prayer more than anything else and supporting the ones God is instructing to go there and live.
If I truly love Haiti, the people of La Gonâve, my precious godson (and I do more than words can express) then I will listen when God says don't go, just as quickly as I do when He says go.

In fact, if I truly love God, love anyone, I will be obedient to Him regardless of what it means. If it means staying or going, if it means speaking up or staying quiet, if it means fighting harder or letting go, I will do as He leads.

1 Samuel 15:22 “Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the Lord? To obey is better than sacrifice"

2 John 1:6 "And this is love, that we walk according to his commandments; this is the commandment, just as you have heard from the beginning, so that you should walk in it."