Lately, a heavy wave of questions have consistently confronted me. With questions, usually comes the need to find answers. Recently I have not found many answers to many of the situations that seem so pertinent in my life; "should I speak up or stay quiet?" "do I stay here or do I go?" But I think, that a lack of answers is exactly where the Lord wants me to be, because where I lack, God proves faithful and sufficient. Unfortunately, it can be difficult to fully trust that the Lord is our provider, our strength, our comfort, our hope.
One reason that I struggle believing God's promises, is that in the midst of all the things that seem uncertain, other, more personal questions interrogate me. "Am I a good enough teacher? Am I a good enough friend, family member, god-mother; am I good enough?" "Do people know I care? Am I serving enough, working hard enough, doing enough?" Satan often tempts us with these questions about our ability. Because really, these inquiries are questioning our identity. When I worry about these questions, I'm really doubting whether God's promises are true. Is God truly who He says He is? Am I who He says I am? Does He really love me? Can I trust Him?
Despite my doubt, my fear and mistrust though, God continues to pursue me and show just how trustworthy He is. How faithful are His promises, how steady is His love. God reiterates His promises to us throughout all of scripture. Not long ago, God showed me evidence of His devotion in two unsuspecting verses of scripture.
Many people are familiar with the story of Jesus' crucifixion. When I was reading the passage in John 19, God overwhelmed me with His voice.
As the Jews delivered Jesus over to Pilate and finally convince him to allow Jesus be crucified, the chief priest and Pilate share a brief exchange.
"So they took Jesus... There they crucified him, and with him two others, one on either side, and Jesus between them. Pilate also wrote an inscription and put it on the cross. It read, 'Jesus of Nazareth, the King of the Jews.' Many of the Jews read this inscription, for the place where Jesus was crucified was near the city, and it was written in Aramaic, in Latin, and in Greek. So the chief priests of the Jews said to Pilate, 'Do not write, ‘The King of the Jews,’ but rather, 'This man said, I am King of the Jews.’ Pilate answered, 'What I have written I have written.'”
Through the words of Pilate God speaks. He declares once more, that our identity is found within Christ. It was paid for and given to us, right there at the cross.
Although the world questions who we are (as they did with Jesus), God's authority overrides it all. If we know God, He has written down our name in His kingdom. He has inscribed for us an identity through His Son. And regardless what our enemies, or the enemy wants to say about us, we are sons and daughters of the King. What God has written, He has written. Our identity is secure in God just as Jesus' was, no matter what the Jews said about him.
Today, I hope we walk in the confidence and freedom knowing that we don't just say our identity is in Christ, but know that we are sons and daughters. We know we are worthy. We know we are loved. We know God has a purpose for us.
"What He has written, He has written."
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