I just recently returned to La Source, Haiti for the eighth time. Since getting back into the states my mind has been in a million different places. Normally, writing is how I begin to figure out my thoughts but for the past two weeks there has been so much on my mind that even writing seemed an impossible task to conquer. Now though, two weeks after returning from my trip to La Source, I have finally found a few moments to process what I experienced.
After returning from a trip to Haiti just a few months ago in January I did not intend on going back in April. But in the weeks after getting back from Haiti, several things in my life took a very unexpected turn (some good, some bad) and I found myself inadvertently saying "yes, I'll go" in response to a text message asking me if I wanted to join the team going to Haiti in April. The deposit of $600 was already past due in the moment I said "yes" and on top of that I only had $200 to my name. I agreed to go on the trip with less than two months to raise the money and prepare for the week of classes that I would be missing. In the moment that I had agreed to go I didn't really know why I said yes. In the next few weeks I doubted that I should have even done so. When I saw the list of names of our team that would be going I really started to feel like I had made a mistake: 27 people, 18 of which were high school students.
Although I doubted in my placement on the team I began to pray that God would still allow me to be a servant and to learn many things. A few days later I got a phone call asking if I would help lead devotions for the high school students on the trip. After that I began to feel a little better about my usefulness on the trip. I missed the first few meetings due to being in North Carolina for school. When I attended the last meeting only a week before our trip one of the high-school students called me "mam"; I once again felt severely out of place. Saturday came and we all headed to the Atlanta airport. I was quiet most of the travel day since I didn't know the majority of the people on the team. While looking around at the students on the team I was praying about what God would have me speak to them about during the devotions that week. Looking back now I realize that my prayer probably should have been asking God to open my eyes to all the things those students were going to teach me.
Over the next few days these students surprised me immensely. Where I had prepared myself for drama and immaturity they showed wisdom and godly character. I woke up several mornings to see many of them reading their Bibles and worshipping. They volunteered to get things done before they were even asked. They prayed for the people in the village fearlessly and talked about the things of God with boldness. I was astounded at their spiritual maturity. For weeks I had been praying that God would help me love and serve them but had not anticipated the way that they would minister to me. When leaving the village my heart often hurts for leaving the people of La Source, but this time leaving was more emotional than most times because of the way I had started to love our team members as well.
I now feel like I have 18 new brothers and sisters. All of whom I met and got to know in only a week, yet I miss them dearly. Although this trip had moments that were more difficult and frustrating than any other trip I had been on, the only thing I could think when I returned was how sad I was that it was over. So often I return from La Source and recount the love of Christ that was shown to me by the people of the village, but this time I saw the light of Christ more than I ever thought I would through the people that I last expected to see it though.
It is sad to think about the reality that our specific team will probably never be altogether again but I rejoice in the fact that I had the opportunity to get to know each one of them. Now my prayer is that God will continue to work in their lives and grow them in the knowledge of Him. I am humbled by the way these students surpass me in their spiritual walk and aspire to be as Christ-like in my life as many of them are.
Romans 12:4-6
4 For as in one body we have many members,[a] and the members do not all have the same function, 5 so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. 6 Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them.
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