Where I'd Rather Be

Romans 8:25
But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

  Tonight my thoughts are wandering to something other than where I am and what I am actually doing.  I long to be somewhere else with someone very special to me. And although I would do anything to be there right now, the fact is, I'm just not. And no amount of wishing can get me there. So while I sit and think about where I'd rather be and who I'd rather be with, I am prompted to ask God why I'm missing out on something so important to me and why the circumstances can't be different. But God pushes my mind in another direction; the one that leads to the question I should be asking, which is, where is my faith and where is my patience?

  As I long to be in another place tonight encouraging and supporting someone I love, God has me sitting in my humble dorm room allowing me to be drawn to a place of trust and patience. Trusting that even though I cannot be where I want to be and cannot say what I'd like to say, that HE is in control of all my wants and needs and anxieties. Trusting that His love far surpasses mine and that He will not fail me or any of His children. Trusting that when I ask for His provision and protection He will indeed provide.

   He also brings me to patience. Prompting me to wait on His timing and His will before my prayers are answered. To have patience in trusting Him, even when I cannot see the results.

  So tonight as my heart longs to be elsewhere, I am reminded that just maybe I am here so that I can be patient in the hope that God has given me. A hope that He loves me and all His people more than I can fathom and that He is working in hearts even during the times that I can't be present to see it.

I love you near or far

Robert Frost says that "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." 

 Being that I find myself reverting to writing in order to explain my thoughts and emotions to others and sometimes, even to understand my own mind, I think I can can relate with what Frost has said. I have always been quite shy about the poetry I write, as there is an idea out there that people who write poetry have a lot of hidden secrets or sadness in their life. Because I have never wanted people to have this idea about me I have always hidden my love for poetry and my own poems from most people. But since it is a big part of who I am, and a testament to the experiences in my life and the wonderful people I have been blessed to know, I thought I would take a small step to sharing that. The sharing of this is poem is more for me than anyone who may happen to read it, but anyways here you are. 

See through 

You think no one can tell
But I see through it all
Make em think that you're well
But I know when you fall 

What can I do
Except watch, without hope 
I know I can't help you 
But how do I cope

With this ever present thought 
That you're not okay 
Knowing, even if I fought
I might never see the day

That you finally return
Your heart, once again whole
That passion, that burn
Reignited in your soul 

The immensity of your care
The intensity of your love 
I know it's all there 
I know it's what you're made of

Love and kindness and sincerity
The things that make you
Believe me, you're a rarity
I saw in the beginning, I already knew. 

You keep trying to hide 
But it's not fooling me
Because I see inside 
I know what you're meant to be

The caring, devoted, courageous one. 
Who's spirit burns brilliantly
It outshines the sun 
Ever so blissfully 

He'll attempt to deny
The insanity he holds 
An insanity of love, with more depth than the sky. 
And he doesn't even realize the things he upholds. 

But I do, and always will
To you, I'll impart 
Being with you was surreal
Promise me you won't forget what's in your heart.