A Better Answer to an Important Question

When people hear that I often go to Haiti and someday hope to be a full-time missionary there, I am often asked the question, “What do you do when go there?” Recently I have had a difficult time answering this question because I feel people are usually confused or dissatisfied with my response. Although I have served with Life Ministries doing medical clinics, food distributions, shoe drives, vacation bible schools and many other projects, I never seem to have the short answer that people are expecting. It seems most people are anticipating an answer such as, "I work with an orphanage, we are building a school, hospital, ect." But our ministry in La Sous is so much bigger than that. While we do many projects that physically and financially benefit the people of La Sous, our main ministry is simply sharing and receiving the love of Christ with them.

                                         

   While meeting physical needs is a way to share Jesus with people, this is not our main focus. My hope, along with that of the leaders of Life Ministries, is that we are making an eternal investment in the lives of the people of La Sous. Often this means going to the village and simply spending time with them. Joining them in their church services, walking through the village holding a child's hand or sitting down with someone and just being available to listen. While the people of La Sous have always shown their appreciation when God allows us to help meet their physical needs, I have found that the most precious thing we can offer them is our time and love. It means a great deal to know that someone would fly to another country, and sail to a small remote island just to sit and talk and listen to them. 

        

    When I think about effective ministry, I am reminded of the way that Jesus ministered to many people. He was a man among the people. He didn't have the finances to meet everyone's needs and although He did miracles, that was not always the way He chose to love people. Several times He could have fixed people’s problems with a single word, yet He did not. In many instances Jesus loved people by merely giving them His time.

In John 12:8, Jesus says, “For the poor you always have with you, but you do not always have me."

Jesus reminds us that we will never be able to meet all the physical needs of this world. However, we have something to offer that is so much greater and eternal. While we can and should give to those who are in need, there will always be poverty and hunger, and we must take advantage of the opportunities we have to share the love of Christ.

I cannot provide for all the needs of the people of La Sous, but I can build relationships and reciprocate love that will have an invaluable, eternal influence.

This is why I go to La Sous and this is my passion. I am forever grateful for those of you who have showed your support through prayers and donations and encouragement. I thank you for your continuation in doing so as I prepare for my next trip to Haiti in April.

1 Corinthians 13:3

If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love: Lost or Found

     About a week ago I asked God a question. It's not something that I'm proud to have asked, but it was on my mind. It went something like this, "God, do you really want me to be shameless and outspoken about loving your people?" The answer to that may seem like common sense, but let me explain my train of thought in that moment.
 
      I know that God instructs us to love all people at all times, good and bad. But do we have to be so open about that? For example, when there is a friend, family member or co-worker who is going down the wrong path, it is a definite that we should keep loving, caring and praying for them. But what about when that person doesn't even want your care? And what if that person does something really bad? Can't I just keep loving and praying for them secretly? Do I have to be so open about it and risk being rejected, humiliated or even judged by some people? I can't tell you how many times I've been asked, "Why do you even care about them? They clearly don't care about you so just forget them." And though I know that is really bad advice, I have almost let myself be influenced by it. After hearing that so many times I thought that maybe I should just keep quiet about my concern. Maybe I'll keep praying for them and keep loving them in my heart...but I don't have to be so conspicuous about it. But God's answer to me on this question was yes. Yes, I do want you to be shameless in loving people, even the ones that reject you. Because you are only loving them through Me, and my love is the gospel to be proclaimed.

     God answered my question with a yes, but He hasn't stopped there. Over the past few days He has been consistently showing me why He expects me to be so open about loving people. Through reading the Bible, listening to sermons and hearing the words of other people, a specific passage of scripture has stuck out in my mind.

    In Luke 15 Jesus is reprimanded by the Pharisees for hanging out with sinners. Jesus responds by telling them three stories. The first is about the lost sheep, the next of the lost coin and at last the story of the prodigal son. He begins by saying that any shepherd with a hundred sheep, who had lost one, would leave the ninety-nine and go after the one that is lost until he finds it. And a woman, who owns ten coins and loses one, will search her entire house diligently until he finds it. And lastly, the story of a man with two sons. The youngest who tells his father he wants to leave and receive his inheritance now.
 
    So Jesus is telling the story and it goes like this. The son says to his father, "I'm going off and I'm gonna do my own thing. It's gonna be fun, it's gonna be better, I'm gonna be able to handle this on my own." So the son gets his inheritance, he goes to the city and he thinks he's good. He's got enough money, he's got connections, he thinks he's got friends and he has it all figured out. The son knows that with his father his life is taken care of. He knows that his father has never failed to provide for his every need but he just can't help but think that he's missing out on something. He knows that his father gives him everything and he even has his future entirely planned out and taken care of for him but the son doubts his father. He doubts that his father is really letting him live and experience all that  he needs to.  So the son leaves and for a while he has everything he wants. His friends are showing him all the best places to go and the most popular people to meet and coolest stuff to buy. But after a while he isn't able to keep it up. Because it turns out that the new, exciting, better things he thought he wanted, just aren't satisfactory anymore. And all his friends and connections and awesome people that he thought he had just aren't really there for him. They were there to tell him what to buy and where to go and how to get attention..but they didn't really care about him. When he was spending all his money they didn't stop to ask him if he really needed to buy something new. They weren't there to ask him or talk to him about why he left his family. They never told him that he might not actually need all the stuff and the parties and the attention. They didn't care. And now the son thinks he doesn't have anything so he's alone and he's hungry and he's needy. But then he remembers his father. And he thinks about all the workers his father has and how well they are taken care of. So he starts to make his way back home thinking that maybe if he begged and pleaded, that he could work to earn his father's provision. He thinks surely my father does not love me, he will not call me son but just maybe I can earn his provision. But before the son can even make it back home, here comes his father. And he's surprised because he doesn't know how his father knew he was coming and he doesn't understand why he is welcoming him back home. But what the son doesn't realize is that the father never really let him go. He never stopped hoping and waiting and watching for the day that his son would come back home. Because that was his son. And no matter how far he went the father never stopped watching for him. Nothing he could have done was ever going to change the fact that he was his son. The father doesn't even let his son give an explanation. He doesn't wait until his son gets on his knees and apologizes and begs to come back home. He doesn't make his son profess his love and admit he was wrong. He welcomes him and celebrates and rejoices his son who has made it back home.

     As Jesus tells these stories of course He is referencing the love of His father. A love that comes with the promise that He will never leave us. A love that goes out after one tiny, runaway lamb. A love that will search for one, lost, worthless little coin. And a love that will always welcome home the undeserving, rebellious son. And then He celebrates us with His love.

    And these parables that represent the shameless, unconditional, overwhelming love of God are my answer. This is why I cannot be ashamed of loving people regardless of background or struggles or rejection or humiliation. Because not for one second has God been reluctant to proclaim His love for me and for us. And He even knows every time I will ever abandon Him and doubt Him and rebel. And yet the very essence of His being is how much He loves me. His book tells story after story after story about His love for me. And every single day He pursues and reveals that love to me.

   So not only are each of us lost with the hope of our father who saves us and welcomes us and rejoices over us. But with Him we have the strength to love people around us like that. To diligently pray and care and wait for them to return home. Because we have never gone too far and we have never done too much that the love our Father has for us cannot be celebrated.

 

Happy New Year

   For those who are in the academic arena, the calendar is marked twice with the title "new year." Once of course, on January 1st and another time its scribbled down on a square somewhere in August. Parents everywhere are feeling mixed emotions about the start of the academic calendar. On one hand, I imagine many parents are heaving a sigh of relief while simultaneously feeling disbelief that their child is already starting first grade, or perhaps taking a picture of their child's "last first day of school." And the students, well they're either whining about how summer is over and homework has begun or they are part of the small minority of kids who actually get excited about going back to school. Regardless of what stage it is, the feelings are bittersweet.
 

   
      For high schoolers and college age students, there's usually a very common thought process that occurs during the coming days of a new school year. It goes something like this... "This is the year that I make all As." or maybe a smaller goal like, "This year I am not procrastinating anything." Sometimes we even buy a calendar/organizer and for the first few weeks right down all of our assignments and check them off as we finish. But for most of us, the vigorous spirit of "new school year, new me" is unfortunately short lived.
 
    I can think of several excuses that I've had in the past for why my diligence so quickly deteriorated. But if I am honest, it all comes down to one thing. I stopped caring. And regrettably, I am only one of thousands of students who do the same thing. This past school year however, was different for me. Last fall I transferred from Georgia Regents University to Southeastern Seminary in Wake Forest, NC. During my freshman year at GRU I put in mediocre effort to my school work. When I transferred to Southeastern, something just hit me. I knew that the expense of going to Southeastern is nearly 5 times that of what my first year of college was. I also knew this meant more sacrifices that my family would have to make. So I made a new year's resolution that I would not take that fact for granted. I did not finish the school year with a 4.0 but I can honestly say that I worked hard in every class and did my best not to settle for sub par efforts. Not only have I learned more this past school year than any other, but I took full advantage of an opportunity that the majority of the people in this world do not even get to have.

    Recently I watched a documentary on Netflix called,"On the Way to School." (I highly recommend watching it.)  The documentary follows four sets of children from different countries and their journeys to school. A brother and sister from Africa who have a two hour walk to school every morning while simultaneously running and hiding from elephant stampedes. The film also follows three brothers in India ages 8 and younger who have an hour and a half journey to school, while pushing one of their brothers in a broken wheelchair. Needless to say, the film only solidified a fact that I already know to be true: education is a privilege and should not to be taken for granted.

     Whether you are still in high school or are in college, please stop for a moment to realize this fact. Although in the states we are privileged to have lower education as a right, many children in the world do not. And if they do, they sacrifice very much to make it a possibility. For those of us pursuing college, realize that this is an opportunity that even many people in America do not get. In other words, going to college and having it paid for by your parents is not their obligation or assumed responsibility. It is a gift. For the students young and old who are paying for college on your own, you are commended.
 
     I only say this because I have realized myself,  how long I have taken these things for granted. Although I have been on somewhat of a rant I actually mean this as an encouragement and motivation to work hard in school since you have the opportunity. And if you have chosen to go to college, take full advantage of the knowledge and resources being offered to you. So for all students, I hope your "new school year resolutions" are successful. And Happy New Year!

Planning

    I am a natural born planner. Sometimes this quality proves an advantage for me. And sometimes I get too caught up in the plans I make, that I don't stop to ask God what HIS plans are.
Since I am all too familiar with this quality of mine, when I began planning the details of my most recent Haiti trip, I prayed especially that God would direct the plans and I would simply obey them.

   If there is one thing that I learned throughout the trip and its entire process, it's that there is a tremendous amount of planning that goes into a trip to La Source, Haiti. Most of this is done by Lisa Adams. If I wasn't already amazed at all the work she puts into each mission trip, I certainly am now, since this time I was responsible for many of the things that she normally takes care of for each team trip to La Source. (Sometimes I'm convinced she is a super-woman.) Anyways, being the planner that I am, I was determined to handle as many of the details as I could on my own. And determined to think of every last thing that needed to be dealt with and prepared for before Sammy and I could depart. I had a list for EVERYthing. There were packing lists and grocery lists, supply lists, and funds lists. A list of worker's names and people we had to meet, things we needed to say and "to-dos" that needed to get done. I had a list of emergency phone numbers and instructions for how to get places and find certain things. I won't keep going. The funny thing was, that in the midst of all these lists, neither Sammy nor I had one list of agendas to get done once we got to La Source. We both felt instinctively that God was actually telling us not to have one. As I mentioned in my last blog, our lack of projects and agendas was, to some people, questionable to say the least. We got questions like, "What are you going to be doing while you're there?" and responses like "So.. what's the point?" For many of these questions my only response was that we felt God was telling us to go and that He wanted us to be without plans in order to be fully surrendered to Him.

On July 4th night, Sammy and I sat together in her room packing last minute items, sorting out money and going over all of our lists just one last time before we would head for Haiti the next morning. As Sammy was organizing our suitcases I was trying to get us checked into our flight online. When I pulled up our flight information I realized something was missing. We had paid for an insurance through the airline that would cover lost or stolen baggage, but also insured us medically if any emergencies were to occur. The insurance receipt was not there and when Sammy's step mom checked her credit card charges there was never a charge for where we had purchased the insurance. There was no record that we had ever ordered it. The insurance was still available if we wanted to purchase it then...but at a price of $285 (originally it had been only $35.) As we prayed that night we lifted the issue up to God. The next morning we arrived at the airport and told the man at the check in counter our dilemma. He didn't have any authority over matters like that but gave us a number we could call that he thought may be useful. Sammy's dad called and after a few minutes on the phone the airline somehow found the insurance we had purchased. I'm not sure how this happened being that we had no receipt of buying it and furthermore that we were never even charged for it. But I did know that God was taking care of us and it was an encouraging start to our journey. Something that Satan could have used to worry and discourage us, God used as affirmation that He was in control of every last detail of our trip. And so, after parting with our luggage, taking a quick picture, one last bathroom break and a hug goodbye to Sammy's dad...we were off.

 

  Although Sammy and I had no concrete plans, there is no doubt that ideas and expectations of how we thought things should go had seeped into our minds. The one and only thing that Sammy and I knew for sure we would be doing while in La Source was a bible study book recommended to us by Mrs. Lisa. It is called La Jwa Le Chemen (the road to joy.)

 
  On our first night in La Source Sammy and I told our translators that the following morning we wanted to have a meeting with all of the church leaders and pastors of the village. We didn't care what church or what denomination they were from, all the leaders were invited. So, the next morning we all met. Sammy and I introduced ourselves to everyone, took everyone's name and prayer requests and then explained the Bible study that we wanted to do with them for the next two weeks. Collectively we decided that every morning we would all meet in our camp from 9:00-11:00am. Sammy and I both had a similar idea in our heads that the Bible study would result in a crowd of 30-40 people and that we would end up going house to house praying for people and seeing miracles. I can certainly say that God worked miracles during our time there, but He did so in a way different from what Sammy and I expected. Instead of large crowd at our morning bible study, we had a faithful few of ten or eleven. As the bible study continued, Sammy and I realized that investing deeply in those faithful few was more prosperous than the large crowd that Sammy and I had expected. Over the next two weeks we would continuously be astounded at the way God took our expectations and formed them into His grander, miraculous plan. Of course all of this would have been impossible without the impeccable amount of prayer that Sammy and I were both being covered in and taking part in. I'll share more about this in my next post.
Thanks for reading!


The next four pieces to the series are:
Prayer
Power
Patience
Perseverance

Processing

  Today marks a week since I have returned home from my most recent trip to Haiti. Since I have been home I've attempted to take in and process everything that happened during that two week trip. I landed in the Atlanta airport Sunday night and drove back to Augusta getting home passed midnight only to crash and then wake up at 8 the next morning, get back in the car and drive 5 hours to North Carolina to visit my family. Needless to say, time to think and process was not available to me.
  Now that I have been back home for a few days, told countless stories to my friends and family, looked at my pictures about one hundred times and thought over everything that we did and saw, I'm finally ready to sit down and write it all out. Because this trip was so incredibly different and longer than any other visit to Haiti I have made, I've decided that instead of attempting to put everything into one blog, I will be writing a (short) 5 piece series.

  For those who may have no idea what I am talking about I will give a brief explanation of how this whole trip came to be. In April I attended a team trip to Haiti which consisted of mainly high schoolers and four twenty year olds, two of whom were me and Samantha Pease. (I wrote a blog on this April trip soon after I returned.) The April trip was when I was first introduced to Sammy and the first time I heard God telling me that we needed to take a trip to La Source by ourselves. At the end of the April trip I told Sammy what was on my heart and she agreed. Neither of us had any idea how or when or if this could happen but we started praying that if it was in fact God's will, that the trip would work itself out, and it did. Looking back I can honestly say that God directed each effort it took to make the trip happen.
   For most of the process I tried to act like I knew what I was doing and that I was confident. But in reality I had no clue what I was doing, all I knew was that God had placed it on my heart and it was my job to take the steps of obedience. I started by mentioning to Bill Adams that I was going to La Source without a team. I said this in a joking way because I was nervous but Bill's response was simply and seriously, "you can do it." The next step was telling my mom, she was reluctant but is always supportive of me. The next step was talking to Lisa Adams and Cindy Rogers. Donnie and Cindy Rogers, along with Bill and Lisa Adams are leaders of LifeMinistries International which is the organization that I have taken all my Haiti trips through. When I told Lisa and Cindy that Sammy and I wanted to go to La Source by ourselves for two weeks I knew it probably sounded a little bit sketchy. The part I was most nervous about was that when they asked what we wanted to do while we were there, I didn't have much of a solid answer. Sammy and I had both felt like we were supposed to go on the trip without a big agenda or list of projects and to-dos. Even though I was nervous I told them what God had put on our hearts. After a few weeks they had all discussed it and prayed about it and let Sammy and I know that we could move forward with the trip. This is how I know that God was ordaining all of this. And I am so grateful that both the Rogers, the Adams and leaders of LifeMinistries are so open and in tune to God's will.
   I tried to place myself in their shoes and think; if two 20 year old girls who had never been on a trip alone, came to me and asked to go to a small Haitian village alone for two weeks, with no concrete plan.... I would most likely say no. But God had a different outlook on things than I did. And He directed the leaders of LifeMinistries to allow Sammy and I to go, and not only that but they were so encouraging and supportive.
  So that's a little background on our trip and how it came together. I was amazed at how God worked out every last detail and gave Sammy and I so much peace and confirmation about the whole thing. The next five pieces of the series I will discuss the things that God did and showed Sammy and I during our trip and how He has continued to teach us even after our return.
   I hope you return to read the following pieces... thanks for reading!

The five piece blog will consist of
Planning
Praying
Power
Patience
Perseverance

Aspiring Writer's Block

   Writing is one of the few things that has the capability of bringing me clarity. And if it doesn't bring me clarity, it at least allows me to process all the thoughts that are constantly whizzing around in my brain. Unfortunately though, for the past month I have hardly been able to write anything. I would refer to this as what is most commonly known as "writer's block." However, I do not feel qualified enough to self identify myself as a writer... yet hopefully. Regardless of what you would like to call it, I have been struggling.

    I've been writing for as long as I can remember. When I was five years old I wrote my first poem. I scratched it down on a little white scrap of paper in hot pink gel pen... the poem was about butterflies. I still have that little scrap of paper to look at and remind myself why I write. Because when I was five, I wasn't writing so that the whole world would applaud me. And I wasn't writing to make a political statement or to protest an idea. I wrote,
                                                                  Butterflies are yours
                                                                  Butterflies are mine
                                                                  God made butterflies
                                                                  of all different kinds
                                              (There's more but I will spare you the rest.)
because I apparently enjoyed butterflies and I just felt like writing that. Revolutionary right? Well, not really. Actually it's just simple. And simplicity is something that is important.
    A few things that have been refreshed in my mind during my "writer's block."
One: Remember the reason that I write, which is because it's something I love to do, not because I need the world's recognition.
Two: Not doing something because you think you aren't good at it does not help you get any better. Desiring to get better at something is great as long as it doesn't take the enjoyment away from you. But I'm not reluctant to say that everyone has a desire to be good at whatever it is they love to do. I mean that's obvious. If you love to paint, then you want to be good at it. If you want to be a dancer, then you probably want to be a great one. And if you're like me and you love to write, I'm sure you want to continuously learn to write better. Which bring me to the third thing that that was refreshed in my mind: if you want to get better at writing then here is the most important thing you must do...yes, you know, WRITE. When you can't think of anything to say, write. When you're sad, write. When you're happy, write. When you're indifferent, write. And even when you're frustrated about how you can't write, yes again, write.
    The good thing about those refreshers is that you can most likely apply them to just about anything. As in, if you want to get better at anything, you're starting place is always to just do it. (Nike was genius for coining that phrase.) And so I think I'll just end it on that.

                                                                 

God's Promises and Bob Marley

                                                  "This is my message to you-ou-ou:

                                                   Singin': "Don't worry 'bout a thing,

                                              'Cause every little thing is gonna be all right."   

As elementary as the lyrics to Bob Marley's "Three Little Birds" are, those seven simple words have changed my life. Cliché as it may be it's true. This changed happen almost two years ago when in the midst of finding myself in an unwanted situation I was crying and wondering how on earth things were going to getting better. While I was crying and complaining about my circumstances someone started singing Marley's lyrics to me and suddenly it felt like things really were going to be okay. I'm sure I've heard people utter phrases like "It'll be okay" my entire life but for some reason it had always felt like just a phrase; I had never actually believed it before. But in that moment I really thought about those words and my outlook on life has since changed tremendously. For most people it may seem like common sense to know that no matter how bad your circumstances are, eventually things will be okay. But for me this had never been a reality. I was never able to see the future hope in any situation. Although I'm not recommending that anyone follow all the life style choices of Bob Marley, I do have to speak my appreciation for so many of his lyrics, especially to this song. Whether you are a fan or not it's difficult to deny the truth of these lyrics. I owe an even greater appreciation to the person who sang me these lyrics and continuously reminded me that things would always be okay. For that I am ever grateful to them. 

What though, do Bob Marley's lyrics have to do with God's promises? Well for me: everything. God's promises are the only reason that the lyrics mean anything at all. For people who don't have a relationship with Christ, it really is difficult if not impossible to see the future hope in bad situations. The good news though is that God has given us a specific answer to what this hope is. That is why "every little thing is gonna be alright" is so much more than just a phrase to me. As silly as it sounds God used Bob Marley to remind me that my hope can always be found in Christ. 

Have you ever learned something new and then suddenly started to hear about it all the time? That's how this realization was for me. Once I truly accepted the truth that things would always be alright eventually, I started hearing it everywhere. I suppose its God's way of taking care of me, by reminding me of my hope in Him.  In Haiti they have a Creole saying that goes, "Tout bagay deja byen paske Jezi chita sou twone li." It's their version of "every thing will be alright" only it translates to "every thing is already well and ends with 'because Jesus sits on His throne.'" Such a wonderful reminder to know that it is well because Jesus has already won the victory for us. I've heard the saying so much over the past two years that now its almost impossible for me to become hopeless over a situation. And any time I start to despair I just hear that same person singing those lyrics to me. Although I'm not quite sure what Bob Marley's religious status was I do know that he spoke a lot of the same truths that are found in Scripture. The words to "Three Little Birds" parallel directly with God's promise to us in Philippians. 

Philippians 4:6-7 

⁶ do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.